Marriage Life - Before & After

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I seem to have a different perspective of marriage life after I gave birth to Edison. I used to believe that having children would greatly increase the chance of marital stability. But now, I have a different thinking. Having children will improve the likelihood of collapse of marriages.
Well, is this exactly true?

Before Edison was born, we rarely quarrel. Every time when my hubby went on an overseas assignment, I missed him terribly. We talked on the phone everyday without fail. I would count down by days till he returned from his trip. I would give him a really big HUG when he returned. Those were the days.

But now, my hubby and I aren’t always happy. We both have our own parenting style; we have our own commitment to work and our parents; and we think differently too. Sometimes our difference in opinion and mindset caused us to fight. Small arguments are too common. But then, there are BIG fights that involve crying, screaming, swearing and even hurtful statements. There are times that I can’t help but keep thinking that we are just not meant for each other. Worst case scenario is we avoid talking to each other for days. Yes, it’s true! The more we talk, the more we fight! I choose to remain silent.

When my anger has suppressed, I began to think rationally again. What really caused us to fight? How can I handle this matter tactfully in future? How could I scream at someone like him? How could I not realize what a perfect family that I have? But I was squandering my precious time fighting with him. Am I crazy?!

Then I realized that in a relationship, it involves a lot of gives and takes, respect and sacrifice for each other. I’m trying my very best to become kinder, more patient, always keep my temper under control and be a more thoughtful person. Isn’t that simple?

Sometimes love can be as simple as letting one go to sleep when the person is tired. Other times, it comes in the form of red roses or a nice dinner. Marriage isn’t always easy, but love can be - if both of us are willing to put in a little bit of effort.

I wish always cherish my family; my dear husband and my adorable son. I love both of you so much!


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